The Blackout

The Lemon

Last year, me and my bestmate Markus enrolled in our College’s honors program.  There were a variety of classes to choose from in the honors catalogue--from History to Philosophy, English, and so on. However, there was a required “Enrichment Seminar” class needed to complete the program. So, that Fall we took the class. WHAT WAS THIS CLASS ABOUT you ask? (as you try to do a terrible impression of me, sounding like a kid with downs syndrome) Well, I’ll tell you concerned reader! The class was on science fiction and society. And it was intense! The class required too much reading, hours of over-analyzing on my part, and we didn’t even get to watch the full Matrix. Everyone in the class was brilliant. In the final paper of the class, i wrote a glorious 11 and one-half pages about zombies (#humblebrag) In comparison, the other person who did the same topic (this fat, Tom-wearing, blonde, Swedish, Emma Watson lookalike) WROTE 22 PAGES!

Anyways, the last presentation had to do with our research topic. And there were no real guidelines, but a powerpoint and visual boards were strongly recommended. It just had to be 10 minutes long.  My buddy Markus and I thought it would be a great idea to do presentation together. So, naturally we got to work... eating McDonald's happy meals and Longbording for a month, until it was 24 hours before the actual project was due. This was a terrible idea. We weren’t doers. I sucked at powerpoint. Markus wasn’t an artist. However, somehow we got 6 ppt pages done in about 4 hours of working. 

We hadn’t even scratched the surface of this thing, when, out of the blue, there it was. The most beautiful video i had ever seen. The perfect homage to zombies and choreographed dance (two of my favs, by the way). To make thing better, it was a 10+ min video, which meant no timing ourselves.  So, i convinced Markus that we could just wing it, and he agreed. 

this was the vid:

We bombed, ofcourse. The presentation went terribly. We didn’t have our shit together, and i think the Professor was actually disappointed in us for not doing as well, being the only minority students in that bitch! (which is great because that meant that she actually EXPECTED something from us. Also, there was a Gay Chinese guy to add to that minorities list). 

Would I have changed anything about that project? No. (the rhetorical question was merely used as a dramatic stylistic effect; i know you know how writing works, so I’ll just continue this story (also, I’m sorry for all the parentheticals; i’m trying a new writing style, okay? (so, don’t hate))) We had way too much fun with that presentation! And  i thought it was hilarious that in a “Honors Seminar”, we could actually pull off the most ridiculous, presentation that fucked with the accepted belief that we had to do something a certain way. 

This, of course, can be applied in real life. It is imperative to challenge the norms. I’ve been feeling really shitty. Why? Perhaps it could be my problems:  namely to do with personal relationship, money, and academics. But let’s face it: shit happens. Some things are out of our control. This is the world we live in. Its ultimately up to US to BE happy. Of course i’d feel shittier if images of police brutality, corruption, and Kardashians  are consistently on the nightly news. The point is to not take yourself too seriously. Look at your situation, and know that it is not all bad. If you are creative enough and have a great support system, you can make this world interesting. Maybe even hopeful.

Happy New Years All! keep this in mine in the for the new year: 

1. Be Creative. 
2. Be Hopeful
3. Be Thankful
4. Have Fun
5. Markus is the best. everybody go out and find yourself a bestmate... But hands off Markus! He mine... Get your own fucken Markus!

The List (work in progress)

Things that fuel my creativity:

1. talking to my father
2. smokin a J
3. solitude
4. Going to 8track and clicking on a playlist using either of the following tags: “acoustic”; “soundtrack”; “folk”
5. making lists
6. driving
7. caffeine
8. watching standup comedy
9. being broke
10. talking to genuinely nice people.  nerds are cool too. people who aren’t afraid to like things. 

Things that stifle my creativity: 

1. talking to my father
2. being called “pretentious” (seriously? go fuck yourself. thats only reserved for friends.)
3. drinking
4. being home
5. youtube commercials
6. deadlines
7. my current job. which consist of, but is not limited to, picking up trash.
8. skype
9. breakups do not positively affect creative output.
10. other people blogging.

The Park

The Riddle

Low low, somehow i feel solo

wished i lived life, like that kid in old photos

got to go to school, 

because a degree, it is needed,

but than i think

if it's something i really believe in?

So inside it’s just a little boy screamin’

But outside is just an average happy fat dude livin’

But am i really livin?

this wasn’t my vision

in the bigger picture, i’ve aways dreamed of a life with some-kind of meaning...

So by day, I’m reading,

At nights, i’m sleeping, 

or perhaps i contemplate, but usually thats shitty during evenings.

with my smiles, i deceive em

but my feelings, i can’t fake it.

So i pray at night that the devil will not take

my soul, and also that i stay strong that it won’t break,

alas, theres only so much a lame like me can take,

So my shoulders carry weight.

my knees, they shake,

my feet they sink, 

into the sands of depression,

i can’t control my situation.

so, low low.

...I'm a Banana

Busy week coming up. (Finals, Photography, Work, Moviemaking, Writing)

The Boy

"I find my dad in the parking lot. He drives me back to our house and camp is over. So is summer, even though there’s two weeks until school starts. This isn’t a story about how girls are evil or how love is bad, this is a story about how I learned something and I’m not saying this thing is true or not, I’m just saying it’s what I learned. I told you something. It was just for you and you told everybody. So I learned cut out the middle man, make it all for everybody, always. Everybody can’t turn around and tell everybody, everybody already knows, I told them. But this means there isn’t a place in my life for you or someone like you. Is it sad? Sure. But it’s a sadness I chose. I wish I could say this was a story about how I got on the bus a boy and got off a man more cynical, hardened, and mature and shit. But that’s not true. The truth is I got on the bus a boy. And I never got off the bus. I still haven’t"

-Childish Gambino

Dearest,

We've known eachother for quite sometime, but its only as of late that I've started catching feelings for you. Since last semester really. I've learned so much about you, and I love everything you are and everything you will become. The more I find out, the more fascinating you become. Every time I see you, I fall into a deeper obsession. And on those night that I can't see you... Well...

So simple, yet so diabolically stunning. Your beauty is incomparable. Many have tried for your heart in the past. I know each one probably more brilliant than the last. Truthfully, sometimes I am insecure; its hard not to compare myself to the others.

How did I get so lucky? For each time I gaze into you, I experience true bliss. I trust you completely with all my hopes and aspirations. I see you as you are: exquisite. I know there must be a Great Creator. Only PERFECTION can create something so perfectly beautiful. Alas, the morning comes, and I know you have leave, as per usual. I bid you adieu my stars.

-Philip