The List (work in progress)

Things that fuel my creativity:

1. talking to my father
2. smokin a J
3. solitude
4. Going to 8track and clicking on a playlist using either of the following tags: “acoustic”; “soundtrack”; “folk”
5. making lists
6. driving
7. caffeine
8. watching standup comedy
9. being broke
10. talking to genuinely nice people.  nerds are cool too. people who aren’t afraid to like things. 

Things that stifle my creativity: 

1. talking to my father
2. being called “pretentious” (seriously? go fuck yourself. thats only reserved for friends.)
3. drinking
4. being home
5. youtube commercials
6. deadlines
7. my current job. which consist of, but is not limited to, picking up trash.
8. skype
9. breakups do not positively affect creative output.
10. other people blogging.

The Riddle

Low low, somehow i feel solo

wished i lived life, like that kid in old photos

got to go to school, 

because a degree, it is needed,

but than i think

if it's something i really believe in?

So inside it’s just a little boy screamin’

But outside is just an average happy fat dude livin’

But am i really livin?

this wasn’t my vision

in the bigger picture, i’ve aways dreamed of a life with some-kind of meaning...

So by day, I’m reading,

At nights, i’m sleeping, 

or perhaps i contemplate, but usually thats shitty during evenings.

with my smiles, i deceive em

but my feelings, i can’t fake it.

So i pray at night that the devil will not take

my soul, and also that i stay strong that it won’t break,

alas, theres only so much a lame like me can take,

So my shoulders carry weight.

my knees, they shake,

my feet they sink, 

into the sands of depression,

i can’t control my situation.

so, low low.

...I'm a Banana

Busy week coming up. (Finals, Photography, Work, Moviemaking, Writing)

Expectation V Reality

When I was a  boy (a lot smaller than I am now), I dreamed. There isn't much that I do remember DOING as a kid, and  most of what I do recall are long days spent at my  my grandma's house. My family was very poor. My mom and dad worked full-time. But sometimes, in that very little time that I actually got to have a heart to heart with my mom, she would tell me about the states:  all the places she's been, and  all the people she met, the food she ate, the energy in the city. I was awe stricken. I wanted so very badly to experience that world for myself.

I began looking in my archived rolodex memory of Nickalodeon TV shows and Disney Channel Orginal Movies. I wanted to be like those  goofy American kids. All fancy with their snowed out school days, organized sports with cheerleaders, apparenly always taking bubble baths on their neat suburban home. America had so much to offer... Yah, The Good ole USA, my first crush. I was obsessed with  how a kid on the otherside of the  planet lived. Whatever he was doing, it HAD TO  be better than what i'll ever do, exceptional even. I dreamed of living in States, but that was a long time ago, when I was a boy.